I think I just shat myself....
Yes, it is a memorable line from Mr. Deeds, a halfway decent movie in my book.
It also sums up how I felt on my way to work today.
I was on my way in to VO. i'm working a "Backwards 24" (aka 5pm tonite to 5 pm tomorrow night.)
I was going through a small village that is pretty quiet this time of year. The place is nuts during the summertime, but this time of year it's just the locals. It's a vacation magnet during the summer because it's on the lake and everyone goes there. Anyway, i'm getting off track.
I went through town (which is a 30 mph zone), crossed the bridge, and headed out of town (40 zone which switches to 55 after a short distance). I was a just out of the speed zone when I caught a glimpse of something in my rearview. I looked up... lo and behold, a State Trooper is coming up on me with his lights on like I was standing still. I promptly started to pull over, saying to myself "Please go by me, please go by me, please... Aww, shit." Sure enough, he be after me. I'm thinking to myself "ok, what'd I do..." The only thing i could think of was maybe I was going 45 or 50 near the end of the speed zone.
Anyway, I pulled over, turned off the radio, shut off my car, rolled down my window. By this point he is getting out of his car and I am reaching for my wallet.
This is the conversation that ensued:
Me: "Good afternoon, Officer."
Him: "License and registration please."
I hand him my license, reach up, pull out the sleeve with my registration and insurance info... I start praying he doesn't ask for my insurance card, because my new one is still in my room. oops. I get the old cards out and put them on my seat, but I can't get the registration out cuz it's stuck to the inside of it (I dont know why, quit looking at me like that. Yeah, you.)
Him: "Don't worry about taking it out, just give me the whole thing. You know why I pulled you over?"
Me: (Thinking hard) "Nnnnooot really, no..."
Him: "You seriously don't know why I pulled you over?"
Me: "No." (I am honest with police, but I do not make it a practice of volunteering possible infractions just in case he missed the one thing that I mention)
Him: "Well, several reasons, actually."
Me: (Thinking) WTF?
Him: "Were you talking on a cell phone?"
Me: "No Sir!" (I reach for my phone, hold it up) "You're more than welcome to look at it and see when my last call was."
Him: "No, that's ok... Any idea how fast you were going in that 40 zone back there???"
Me: "ummmm, 45, maybe 50?"
Him: "How 'bout 58?"
Me: (Thinking) F----ck me...
Him: (As he walks to the front corner of my car, looking at my registration and inspection)
"Any suspensions or revocations on your license?"
Me: "No sir."
Him: (Holding up my brand spanking new CDL Class B that really needs to stay clean so that I can keep my job... I believe 15 over the limit also goes down as Reckless driving. I could be wrong, but if i'm not... bad news either way.) "Do you use this for work?"
Me: "Yes sir."
Him: "Okay. Do me a favor. Slow it down and pay more attention to where you are and what you're doing."
Me: "Yes sir."
Him: "Drive safe and be careful of traffic when you pull out."
Me: "Yes sir! Thank you, sir! Have a good day!"
That was my excitement for the day. Took about 2 years off my life. When he said "58", my stomach just dropped. "Suspended license", "large ticket fee", "losing my job" and "skyrocketing car insurance" were all running circles around my head laughing at me. I was incredibly relieved when he handed my stuff back to me and let me go. Thank God for warnings. The Troopers are usually relatively hard nosed about stuff around here, especially new ones. This guy looked like be probably had a few years under his belt though.
So I spent the next several miles laughing at myself and going 50 mph. I tend to laugh at myself in situations like that. It helps diffuse the stress quite a bit.
I got my ride assignment for paramedic class thursday night. It's weird. I didn't ask for this agency on my three choices, but it was one of the original ones that I thought of.
So I was pretty surprised when I got the ambulance that I did. It should be cool though. They run a pretty good call volume and cover a pretty big area.
I'm going to be doing my dispatch time on Tuesday. Gotta have at least 8 hours at the 911 center, observing how everything works. The 911 center I'm going to has a reputation of putting you in the hot seat after you observe a few calls and letting you run the call from when the phone rings until the unit(s) call back in service. That would be pretty interesting.
Well, i'm gonna call it a night. I just realized it's almost 2 am.